Why does London smell of shit today?

sticks head out of window

sniffs

Nope, South London smells like bacon.

mmmbacon

Posted about 1 year ago by Beagleskin

This isn’t my joke, its McDirts. I’m posting purely to demonstrate his jejune sense of humour, such as it is.

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden…....

“Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon I is sure of eet.”

“Si, Luis eet smells like bacon to meee.”

So, with renewed strength, they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There’s raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there’s fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon… every imaginable kind of cured pig meat.

“Pepe, Pepe, we is saved. “Eees a bacon tree.”

“Luis, are you sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the Desert don’t forget.”

“Pepe when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon… ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree”.

And with that… Luis Races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up,and Luis is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, a true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.

“Pepe… go back man,you was right ees not a bacon tree.”

“Luis Luis mi amigo… what ees it?

“Pepe… ees not a bacon tree…

Eees a Ham Bush.

Posted about 1 year ago by SuckMonster

Poop update – colleagues say Stratford and Clapham both smell too. Maybe there’s a small sweet smelling enclave where Beagleskin is. Other than that, huge swathes of London appear to be covered.

Posted about 1 year ago by jondesouza

I can confirm that Walthamstow smells of poo.

I can also confirm that today is a day ending with the letter “y”.

Posted about 1 year ago by doozer tipped with 1K

How does the Kudocities advertising selection thingy work? For this thread, where we’re discussing the smell of shit, there’s an ad for a gay online dating agency…

Posted about 1 year ago by SFULG tipped with 1K

Kilburn/West Hampstead also smell of poo today. I thought it was the old lady that I passed on the street, but the smell still lingered when I came back that way an hour later, so I don’t think it can have been her after all.

Sorry, old lady.

Posted about 1 year ago by Floatykatja

I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed this today and have in the light of this post have cancelled my appointment at the doctor to check for some weird olfactory condition – can confirm all the way from Finchley to Camden is certainly not smelling of roses…

Posted about 1 year ago by Quagga

I noticed it today as well. When I left the house this morning I thought maybe someone had let their dog poo in our garden but it still smelt like it all the way to work. Just now I popped out the office to buy biscuits and Kentish Town really really smells.

Probably the weather.

Posted about 1 year ago by lalalucy

willesden green/ kilburn also had a poo smell today, It didnt make my hangover any nicer.

Posted about 1 year ago by kristine

Colleagues at work were just discussing this and I came straight to FridayCities to see if the topic had hit here yet (it had, of course it had). Reports from Holloway and Vauxhall can be added to the list. Strangely, this hasn’t been addressed by the BBC yet.

It was definitely farm yard poo smell, rather than just vagrant or dog poo smell. The sort of ‘fresh’ country smell that still smells like crap but makes rural dwellers feel better by branding it as such.

Posted about 1 year ago by MonkeysAhoy!

apparently beckenham smelt of poo too.

Posted about 1 year ago by kristine

New Malden smells like shit which kind of completes the circle as parts of it look shit and many of the residents talk shit.

Posted about 1 year ago by BraveNewMalden

I’ve been told Slough also smells.

I’m putting it down to a rare wind bringing Essence of Swindon to the masses. Aren’t we lucky?

Posted about 1 year ago by flippy

was about to go out to the shops

scared

Posted about 1 year ago by SFULG

Walthamstow and Old Street both smell baaad. Apparently Oxshott in Surrey does too. And somewhere in the South East where someone else at work lives.

Silage spreading?

Posted about 1 year ago by Fi

Twickenham is fine, apparently. Either that or my Twickenham correspondent has no sense of smell.

Posted about 1 year ago by BraveNewMalden

Camberwell smelt of poo this morning too – in a freshly laid manure sort of way…

Posted about 1 year ago by ladyruskin

and many of the residents talk shit.

You’re a New Malden resident aren’t you, Brave…umm…New Malden?

By the way, I lied, this lovely bit of London smells ever so slightly too.

Posted about 1 year ago by Beagleskin

Forest Hill smells like poop this morning, I kept checking my shoes thinking I’d dragged my feet through dog crap

Posted about 1 year ago by Melitzilla