Who are London's best-loved tourists?

I like Japanese tourists, because they’re so smiley and excitable. You can tell them apart from the Japanese who’ve settled here, because the ones I know are almost all housebound depressives now.

When I was younger, a lot younger, I’d vote for the Swedish. But only because they put out within two hours of buying them a drink.

I’ll be controversial and say the tourists I hate are fellow Brits, especially northern monkeys. ‘Cos they wander round telling us all how miserable and unfriendly we are, but I’ve been to Manchester and folk there were the rudest fuckers I’ve ever met.

Posted about 1 year ago by Mockernee

Go to Yorkshire – the folk there are much friendlier!

Posted about 1 year ago by vapourtrail

Yes, but when they’re down here they go on about how piss-awful our beer is.

Don’t they?

Posted about 1 year ago by BraveNewMalden

Touche BNM! I didn’t say all southern beer was bad – I just prefer the stuff up north. Be thankful you don’t have the northern weather!

Posted about 1 year ago by vapourtrail

I’ll be controversial and say the tourists I hate are fellow Brits, especially northern monkeys. ‘Cos they wander round telling us all how miserable and unfriendly we are, but I’ve been to Manchester and folk there were the rudest fuckers I’ve ever met.

I’ll second that and add visitors from Liverpool as well. They frequently complain how unfriendly we are ‘down south’ and that we never talk to each other on public transport. This may be true but the same counts for there and at least here no one takes the piss out of you for wearing jeans.

Anyway enough ranting. The Americans that have come to stay with us have generally been fun and easy going so by sheer number alone I’ll go with them as my favourite tourists.

Posted about 1 year ago by yossarian

takes the piss out of you for wearing jeans

?

Are they verboten in Liverpool?

Posted about 1 year ago by esotericbadger

Its descended into abuse within 3 posts! I had been feeling bad that I couldn’t think of one nice thing to say about a tourist. But clearly no one much on here can match BNM’s heart of gold.

Posted about 1 year ago by Heftmaid_

The Dutch are the best. I’ve never met a nasty Dutch person.

Posted about 1 year ago by esotericbadger

I used to live in Liverpool Yossarian, and know what you mean. They’re not friendlier, they’re just quicker to butt into strangers’ lives, for good or bad. If I was on a train in the morning with a hangover, I’d get advice, sympathy, criticism, religious salvation, the lot, but is that friendlier? I prefer Londoners leaving me be to the world and his wife sharing their unbidden opinions.

I’ve found Americans, both here and there, to be genuinely friendly folk. Often to a degree that makes me feel ashamed for misdirecting them to the wrong Stratford.

Posted about 1 year ago by Mockernee

“The Dutch” to me means Afrikaaners, and I’ve never met a nice South African. And that’s not bloody surprising, mun. Feck, thanks for that earworm.

Posted about 1 year ago by Mockernee

It’s a tricky one re. who is more friendly – northerners or southerners. I think in a city (in the north or the south) people are more anonymous to each other, and therefore may not be as friendly. Whereas in a town people are more familiar with each others may come across as friendlier, even to strangers. I have met rude people from both, but being from the north I am more familiar with the personality nuances, so probably biased towards there. Can’t comment on scoucers as never been there. The jeans comment is a bit worrying if true!

I work near the Tower of London and the Americans tourists I meet are generally very friendly, even if they sometimes come across as a bit naive.

Posted about 1 year ago by vapourtrail

I don’t actually mind tourists and am happy to point them in the right direction. I’ve even gone up to confused looking people staring at maps and given them advice on how to get where they are going in their own language and everything.

The ones that make my blood boil are the gangs of teenage language students that block up the pavement and are hideously unattractive and surly and basically need a huge cunt kicking.

Posted about 1 year ago by Natasha

Also I hate Northerners. Unless I know them.

Posted about 1 year ago by Natasha

I was trying to be diplomatic and open minded here, but if it’s going to come down to just plain northerner bashing then lets go! Heftmaid – say something nice please!

Posted about 1 year ago by vapourtrail

I’ve been physically attacked twice in London and on another occasion was menaced by a guy waving a knife in my face. On each occasion the people involved were visiting Scots. But having learnt that Paul is of the Scottish tendency, I have to say they are in fact charming and self-effacing characters.

Do the Countryside Alliance count as tourists?

gently sets cat down amongst pigeons

Posted about 1 year ago by BraveNewMalden

Glares at Natasha

Posted about 1 year ago by AssumingVakant

vapourtrail you northern cunt

Posted about 1 year ago by Heftmaid_

I know you now, AssumingVakant, you don’t count. Look, have a kudos.

Posted about 1 year ago by Natasha

deletes Heftmaid’s name out of address book, and stamps on her vege patch

Posted about 1 year ago by vapourtrail

In the interests of balance, I don’t hate anyone by region, I reserve my irrational prejudices for specific towns, some I haven’t even visited. If you’re from Burnley, fuck off now, you bastards (every manjack of you) barred me and my mates from every pub and club when we visited, for our own safety supposedly. Chathamites can sod off an’all, but that’s more irrational, I just don’t like your shopping centre.

Back on topic, I love the French, but only once they’ve turned 40, before then they’re a style vacuum and I defy anyone to further the myth they’re not.

Posted about 1 year ago by Mockernee