What Incredibly Stupid Thing(s) Have You Done Whilst Monumentally Pisssed?

I did the contact lens thing a few times too. Trying to pinch your cornea out for half an hour is not the best thing for your eyes.

Thank the lord for laser eye surgery. Now I can get drunk without having to worry. Hurrah.

unless i am so drunk I forget i had laser eye surgery

Posted over 2 years ago by Beagleskin tipped with 1K

When I was still eligible for the Darwin awards, I made a pretty good entry by pissing directly into an open lamp post. I got away with it, but it could have been nasty.

seemed like such a good idea at the time

Posted over 2 years ago by Spammed

My incident involved a very drunk man and a bicycle, I was the embarrassing party (despite him being too drunk to ride), but it’s too cringeworthy to divulge so I’ll talk about someone else.

The worst thing my younger brother did when pissed (well to me anyway) was be sick in a plastic bag and dump it in my room for me to find a day or so later. I opened it, realised what it was, then asked him about it. He denied it, he may have been too drunk to realise, but he was the likely culprit as it wasn’t me or my mother.

Posted over 2 years ago by ellie

Went to Peggy Sue’s nightclub in Southampton

Posted over 2 years ago by iSleepDiagonal

something im not willing to mention.

and.

walked into a mirrored wall and appologised to my reflection

tried to fix the plug on my hairdrier, electrocuting myself in the process.

fell down the stairs in my mums garden in front of half her friends

tried to get into the roadhouse twice after being turned away for being too drunk – my logic was that if i was walking in with different peopl ethey wouldn’t notice even if it was 5 minutes later.

Posted over 2 years ago by kristine

Broke my nose running into a patio door thinking it was open. Worse thing was I did it again 3 months later with the same patio door.

Stepped over a small wall on some seafront gardens not realising there was an 8ft drop onto concrete the other side.

Awoke my friend who was sharing a twin room with me when I got up to go to the bathroom without turning the light on, tripped over my trainers on the way back to bed and smashed my face into the bed side table, once again breaking my nose and splitting my eye open nicely.

I could go on, there are so many tales of injury when drunk, and many when I’m not drunk like knocking myself out on the fridge door a while back, but I won’t.

Posted over 2 years ago by MonkeyBoy

The two best stories haven’t been shared.

BRING BACK ANONYMOUS THREADS

Posted over 2 years ago by Spammed

Oh dear god, there really are far too many for me to list them all. They include:

Falling over and forgetting to put my hands out to stop myself, so I turned up at my graduation ball with a black eye.

I’ve also done the trying to get out of my way/apologising to myself in a mirrored wall thing.

Deciding to play cars with my equally drunken mate, which involved us running round and round the main roundabout into Hanley town centre pretending we were cars, complete with vrooom vroom noises, at about 2am. Later on that night my mate dared me to go for a swim in the canal. I was about half way across the railings before one my more sober mates decided it might be an idea to pull me back.

Managed to slide down a wall, even though I was sitting down, at a party at my parents’ friends’ house.

When staying at a hotel I managed to sleep walk out of my room wearing nothing but a skirt. Unfortunately, seeing as I’d gone back to a mate’s hotel rather than mine, I had no idea what room number I should’ve been in so had to go to reception with my arms folded across my chest to ask them.

Errr, yeah. Maybe I should consider drinking less.

Posted over 2 years ago by Hannah_C tipped with 1K

Hannah – can you please tick the box in the recently-created SW Drinking thread. thanks

Posted over 2 years ago by iSleepDiagonal

One of my best mates (male) decided to use his ever so expensive family heirloom acoustic guitar as a urinal when he was drunk.

He also fell asleep on a £1.50 a minute sex chatline. Lucky for him his girlfriend came home three hours later and, wondering who he was calling at such a late hour, took the phone from her snoring amour to find out.

Needless to say they are no longer together. And the guitar never sounded (or smelt) the same way again.

Posted over 2 years ago by Beagleskin

i thought it would be really amusing to steal my (ex)bosses purse at an xmas do. my friend who was my date for the evening intended to return it but every time he attempted to leave my side i fell over so he thought a better priority was to get my home. i was sacked the following monday, two weeks before christmas, and with no severance pay.

i once got a ride home from two kindly police officers as i came to coherence (god knows where) and realised the tube was shut. i was either at the last stop north or south on the northern line, i guess i fell asleep and kept going back and forth and was eventually kicked out. when i hailed a cab the driver said it would be about £35 to get me home. unfortunately, i couldn’t find my bank card, so the po-po intervened and took me all the way to my door.

i promptly found my bank card in my coat pocket the next day, minutes after cancelling it.

Posted over 2 years ago by lusus_naturae

I pissed on my flatmate’s bed once in circumstances similar to yours, The_Saint, except that I was sleepwalking rather than pissed. Plus it was a full moon which used to be a problem for me during adolescence. The flatmate was in bed at the time and was not pleased.

Pissed, I stole shrubbery from a public park. I was arrested and spent a night in Fulham police station.

I climbed off the 12th floor parapet of a rooftop car park, shimmied down a scaffold pole, then climbed through the tiny window of a nightclub’s toilets, solely to avoid paying the entrance fee.

I brazenly and drunkenly yelled at two huge blokes not to drop litter in a park (not the one with the shrubbery incident) and was utterly amazed when they A) stopped littering and B) started picking it all up again.

I joined in a fight once I was satisfied that my side was winning, only to discover that it’s a lot harder than it looks and had to be rescued from being battered by a not-as-pissed-I-thought Scotsman.

Posted over 2 years ago by BraveNewMalden

I went for a wee, in the middle of Charring Cross Road, just as the Astoria was kicking out.

I went home with a man that I met on the bus. (He didn’t chop me up and hide me under his patio, fortunately)

I woke up in a field, minus my shoes.

I drunk dialled a boy that I liked and left a message on his answer phone. 18 times. (He never did call me back, funnily enough.)

I threw a strop, left a party and walked around the less salubrious parts of Tottenham, threw up in the street several times and was followed by a crack head. He was a nice crack head. He just wanted to help, although his help involved him repeatedly offering me crack.

As well as the above, I went through a phase of drunkenly flashing my arse at any given opportunity.

I’m sure I’ll think of more…..

Posted over 2 years ago by Babb tipped with 1K

I can think of one other thing, but there’s NO WAY I’ll own up to it.

Posted over 2 years ago by Babb

Scaled the mound leading up to Norwich castle and then th scaffolding up the side of said castle, then stealing the scaffolding sighn from the top. In 4 inch heels and a skirt. I woke up the next day Lying next to a scaffold sign with very muddy legs.

Posted over 2 years ago by kristine

Climbed up the side of my student union at 3am and stole the 12ft banner only having the banner itself to hold onto for support. when I managed to burn off the 4th rope hoding it up my ex-boyfried at the time was meant to catch me, he missed, it hurt.

I didn’t go near the union for a while, as it all took place right in front of a cctv camera, and his diversion techniques of pretending to use the cash machine did not help to make me half way up a building look innocent. In fact it made it worse as a que started to form behind him.

I like to climb

Posted over 2 years ago by kristine

God, I missed the most obvious one. The tequila/fire brigade incident. I have to pop out now, but I’ll tell you all about it later.

Posted over 2 years ago by Babb

Yes Tequilla has made me do bad things too. But thats all im saying on that matter.

Posted over 2 years ago by kristine

Tequila – made me fill my shoes with water and put them in the freezer to see if it was possible to make giant footshaped icecubes.

Posted over 2 years ago by Beagleskin tipped with 2K

Beagleskin. I can’t stop laughing, that my dear is sheer genius

Posted over 2 years ago by kristine