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Should we export teenagers?

CravenMaven

Posted by CravenMaven 5 months ago
Last active 5 months ago 8 responses

If you spend any time wandering about central London, you can’t fail to notice the hoards of foreign teenagers. I once even saw a group near Finsbury Park, but I think they were lost. But it occurs to me that if all these teenagers are in London, there must be a dearth of them in their home countries. So, couldn’t we just export ours?

We could just go round the estates on a saturday night and round them up. They come back in a year or so – tanned, skin cleared up, able to hold a conversation (in more than one language to boot), better dressed (if tending a little towards denim). Everyone wins!

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8 responses

BoutrosBoutrosBoutros

Offer them a chance to star in a reality TV show somewhere far away and they’ll go of their own accord.

Posted 5 months ago by BoutrosBoutrosBoutros

Beagleskinpremium

I would like to sign up both my younger siblings as long as the understanding is that teenager covers kids up to and including 21 years old.

Posted 5 months ago by Beagleskin

CravenMaven

buggerit, i meant horde.

Posted 5 months ago by CravenMaven

PrincessBride

I think most of Europe sends their teens to England to learn English over the summer. I’m from Oxford and there are (allegedly) over 100 EFL summer schools in the city. This means there are thousands of the little fuckers and they all congregate outside McDonald’s blocking the pavement and making lots of noise and lots of mess. Oxford’s indigenous teens generally spend their summer holidays mugging and happy slapping them. They’re easily identifiable due to the huge branded rucksacks they wear on their fronts – frontpacks perhaps.

Couldn’t we make like the Mercans and send the kids to camp for the summer? Some sort of wilderness training would probably do them the world of good.

Posted 5 months ago by PrincessBride

Tallulahlula

Export? Hmm….that implies someone might want them. I opt for transport to a remote island somewhere really shite – we must have some crappy islands in remote parts of the world under British ‘rule’ still (Australia was like a gift to the last lot we got rid of)

I am LOVING your thinking….

Posted 5 months ago by Tallulahlula

Babb

There are a group of Spanish students in Harlow at the moment. They all have matching rucksacks.

I’m a bit concerned that they’ll assume that Harlow is a typical example of an English town when, in actual fact, it’s a very poor example of an English town.

Posted 5 months ago by Babb

Tallulahlula

I went to school in Canterbury, first stop for every coachload of Continental schoolkids coming off the ferries. Not a day went by in summer that you didn’t see at least one being carted off by the police for shoplifting. They also liked to spray their hair green/pink/blue a lot. It was tiresome.

Posted 5 months ago by Tallulahlula

CravenMaven

The ones that continually film their surroundings are the best. With no attempt made to focus on any one thing or to keep the camera still for any length of time, I can just imagine the poor sods that will have to watch it when he (and it’s always a he) gets home. Seasickness ahoy!

Posted 5 months ago by CravenMaven