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Should I have said 'happy birthday'?

whenthiswasfields

Posted by whenthiswasfields over 2 years ago
Last active over 2 years ago 3 responses

I was trotting down the escalator at Shepherd’s Bush the other day, and overtook a curious looking gentleman with slicked hair and a sort of sideways tilt to his head. As I passed, he said: “it’s my birthday”. He said it quite loudly. There was no one else on the escalator: he was speaking to me. But I kept my eyes fixed firmly forwards, and clattered on down towards the platform like the devil was at my heels. And it’s been bugging me ever since. I didn’t wish him “happy birthday”. I didn’t say it because I thought he might be a lunatic and slash at my throat with a sharpened spoon handle, like they learn in jail. I got scared. Because this is London, right? And in London we don’t talk to anyone. Eyes down. Shut up. Keep moving. Keep moving. Don’t speak. Don’t wish a lonely gentleman “happy birthday”. Don’t even smile at him. It’s really sad. Then again, he probably had his fist clenched round a bread knife. Fucking nutter. Get out of my way!

Dixon

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3 responses

Biscuits

Of course you should have! Heavens to Betsy.

Posted over 2 years ago by Biscuits

RobBagley

Express your nihilism positively next time. Wish him a happy birthday and accept death as the natural and most useful outcome. Lots of love and a happy new year. Rob.

Posted over 2 years ago by RobBagley

mhaswell

Gods, no. You did exactly right.

My first trip to London by myself (for the job interview I got) I’m on the tube in a suit thinking of interview questions and suchlike when the man opposite in a midday central line tube says “Isn’t it weird how no one talks to anyone on the tube?”. Now I’m sitting right opposite him and don’t know what to do so I go the cautious route of kind of humming “mmm-uh” to kinda agree with him. He then leans forward and looking me right in the eye, starts a surreal conversation about how he just wants to be happy.

Luckily for me, the matronly nurse beside me is also trapped in his headlight gaze and has unfortunately actually looked at him too (while I was wondering how to get rid of him) which means she was the next person for him to fixate on. He went on for at least 10 minutes and possibly more (that was my stop) and I could feel her cringing beside me for the entire trip while trying not to answer much.

If I want to help psychoanalyse bizarre needy people then I’ll volunteer to help somewhere, otherwise it’s something I can do without during a normal working day.

Saying that, a good friend of a friend prints badges that say “I’m up for a talk on the tube” (more info here: http://www.hannahscafe.co.uk/ ). So I’d talk with someone who was wearing one of those.

Posted over 2 years ago by mhaswell