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Sacked "mind the gap" lady - who should replace her?

Popey

Posted by Popey about 1 year ago
Last active 4 months ago 30 responses

Today’s paper has brought us the entertaining news that the voice of such well loved tube announcements as “mind the gap” and “stand clear of the doors, please” and even “inspector sands to the control room immediately” has had her no doubt valuable contract to provide these gems of urban life terminated. The reason is that she started her own website upon which the general public can now hear her make announcements that she regards as “funny”. A particular gem being: “Passengers should note that the bearded man’s rucksack contains the following items only: sandwiches, a library card and a picture of a bare ankle, and is no cause for concern.”

Check it out: www.emmaclarke.com

Also worth mentioning is: “Please do not drop litter, use the tramps provided”

Personally I think noone would have noticed if TFL hadn’t decided to sack the poor misguided fool, and have typically overreacted to a “joke” (which I use in the loosest sense).

But anyway – any suggestions for the new voice of the tube? I vote Vincent Price. Oh, bugger, he’s dead isn’t he. The new Orange answerphone girl then, she’s fantastic.

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30 responses

Floatykatja

any suggestions for the new voice of the tube?

Yes. Me.

hides saucy website from TfL’s prying eyes …

Posted about 1 year ago by Floatykatja

iSleepDiagonal

The Cadbury’s Caramel bunny.

Posted about 1 year ago by iSleepDiagonal

Morals

Brian Blessed.

Posted about 1 year ago by Morals

Flashboy

Anne Widdecombe. That would fit in nicely with the general hectoring/bullying/irritating/please shut the fuck up-ness of all the other numpties who are given a mic down there. On a more pleasing note, maybe Joana Lumley.

Posted about 1 year ago by Flashboy

agox

Not Tom Baker or whoever does the fast-becoming-irritating E4 continuity announcing

Posted about 1 year ago by agox

MarkE

Whoever did the “Voice of the Mysterons” on the original Captain Scarlet (Donald Gray apparently)

Posted about 1 year ago by MarkE

NARDINI

My understanding of the reason for Emma being sacked was that she had been quoted as saying that she “no longer used the tube because it is so dreadful”. What she had actually said was that she no longer felt comfortable using the tube because she would have to listen to her own voice – which would be dreadful..

Close, I suppose. At least the word “dreadful” is used in both versions.

A spokesperson for London Underground said, “It’s not because of the spoof announcements. It’s because she has criticised the Underground system.”

Adding, for good measure, “Some of the spoof announcements are very funny. But Emma is a bit silly to go round slagging off her client’s services.”

It’s good to see such an intelligent spokesperson, with the interpersonal skills of a pickled newt, working so hard in the London Underground for us all.

Oh, and I nominate the Queen. Give her something useful to do.

Posted about 1 year ago by NARDINI

Babbonline

I heard a ‘mind the gap’ announcement in a South African accent the other day. It was weird.

Posted about 1 year ago by Babb

Babbonline

Oh, and I nominate Ken L.

His excruciating whiney voice would deter people from travelling on the tube, meaning that I’d always get a seat.

Posted about 1 year ago by Babb

ShootsandLeaves

Just tried to share the hilarity of her site with the office and it’s down because of, and I quote: “the sheer number of people wanting to download MP3s of my spoof Tube announcements. Please check back in a day or so.”

Yeah, right. Whatever. Bored now. Won’t be checking back. But I do think that they should not use Lloyd Grossman like they did in the lifts at Covent Garden for a while. Terrible.

Posted about 1 year ago by ShootsandLeaves

agox

If you listen carefully you can hear Judi Dench doing the lift annoucements at Chalk Farm tube

Posted about 1 year ago by agox

PrincessBride

I had a conversation about just this the other day with some friends, and I think we thought the Queen should do it too. At least, I think that was the conclusion, or it might have been that we just all got really bored and gave up thinking. It would be brilliant if it was the Queen though. Or perhaps it could be a different London figure for each line. Ken could do the Jubilee line because he ‘takes it to work every day’ apparently.

Posted about 1 year ago by PrincessBride

villageidiot

I vote for Billy Connolly, you can just imagine his announcements…...........................

“Mind the fucking gap you twat”

“Stand clear of the doors you fucking idiot, they’re going to chop your bollocks off”

Posted about 1 year ago by villageidiot

flippypremium

I’m gonna go for Ray Winston, or someone smilarly stereotypically ‘london’.

Posted about 1 year ago by flippy

babybat

Dan Castalaneta?

Posted about 1 year ago by babybat

babybat

Dan Castalaneta?

Posted about 1 year ago by babybat

________

Don Cheadle.

Posted about 1 year ago by ________

BraveNewMaldenpremium online

FloatyKatja. If that’s how you spell it.

Posted about 1 year ago by BraveNewMalden

pottytimepremium

Floaty, definitely. Although that might mean that I never got off the train…

Richard Burton, especially in War of the Worlds.

Rowley Birkin, QC

Posted about 1 year ago by pottytime

auntierotter

Janet Street Porter

Posted about 1 year ago by auntierotter