Robbed stuff returned?

Not marked – but the eejit wot robbed me blind was found fast asleep three doors down with all my stuff in his house and my checkbook in his back pocket.

And somebody once found my pick-pocketed wallet, replete with reddies, and hand delivered it to my front door 5 hours later and 3 miles from where they found it: they wouldn’t take cash, but did ask that I become a vegan.

How about marking everybody else’s stuff with your postcode, then calling the police and seeing if you get it? Warning: may bear a slight risk of a conviction for fraud, wasting police time, damage to property, and any number of other related charges.

Posted 4 months ago by Jingle tipped with 2K

When I was a child the entire family’s bikes were stolen from the stable where they were stored. A few days later one of them turned up on top of the hedge outside the village hall – it had a puncture which we hadn’t bothered to repair, and the thief evidently couldn’t ride it away …

Posted 4 months ago by Floatykatja

What if your UV pen gets stolen? HA!

Will, if I have nothing intelligent to add, am I supposed to say nothing? Or was my Mum lying?

Posted 4 months ago by f0x tipped with 1K

If you have nothing intelligent to add, subtract. Or something. I never have anything intelligent to say, but all the voices in my head seem to be largely content (most of the time). I’m not sure how happy the voices in the heads of the voices in my head are though.

Posted 4 months ago by willster

Do you think David Beckham really does have a Sharpie? I bet hefucking doesn’t. And if he does,it must be the sharpest thing about him.

pen rage

Posted 4 months ago by willster

I hate those stupid fucking Sharpie ads. I find them utterly objectionable. Maybe even more so than the ones of the pissing baby.

I bet beckham owns a solid gold pen

Posted 4 months ago by Babb

Why does he advertise them? Do you think they paid him a billion pounds? Or do you think he actually thinks they’re really cool and wanted to be in the add. Perhaps he draws on tattoos with them.

Putting your postcode on stuff with a UV pen stops burglars burgling it. PC Phillips told us at school. I’m sure that was what he said. That was before the drugs talk though.

Too busy taking crack to listen

Posted 4 months ago by PrincessBride

My sister once stole my four leaf clover in a fit of jealousy!

she gave me it back but not before pulling leaf off it!

She was 10 though

bitch

Posted 4 months ago by kristine

Unless the bad man carries a UV light on his scrumping expedition then the marking won’t prevent him from liberating your telly. Wiring your door handles to the mains will slow them down, and you too next time you return home pissed and forgetful.

Last burglar we had nicked the TV, a duvet and a bottle of scotch. Never saw any of those again but it was nice to think of them all cosy and warm, enjoying a dram in front of Eastenders.

Posted 4 months ago by middleofnowhere

I was hoping that someone might know about a correlation between burglars and fear of pens (‘Don’t go near that, Dave, it’s got PEN on it!!’ Argh!) or perhaps UV ink is their Kryptonite. I live in hope. (N6)

Posted 4 months ago by willster

Having just spent valuable seconds of my life writing my postcode on anything electrical and/or valuable in my house with a UV pen

What happens when you move house?

Posted 4 months ago by iSleepDiagonal

Why don’t you write in on in normal pen, then the burglar will see it.

Posted 4 months ago by f0x