Question of the Day: Why is England still better than South Africa?

2007-10-22T15:22:41Z

As most all of you already know, England watched the Rugby World Cup go to South Africa after losing the 15-6 game. Ouch.

England might’ve lost the battle, but what of the war? There must be loads of ways that England is better than South Africa. Won’t you name a few? That way we can heal together.

2007-10-22T15:33:56Z

I wish I could offer some condolences to you englanders by way of pointing out that your team is better looking, but I just checked and unfortunately they’re not.

2007-10-22T15:38:04Z

Juvey’s seven steps to the heaven of healing….

1) You don’t have to carry a gun in London; 2) Our subjugation of another race is over a century old; 3) Springboks aren’t scary, bulldogs are; 4) Shakespeare vs erm…ah; 5) Accents; 6) Beer; 7) Manners.

2007-10-22T15:39:12Z

Sticky Toffee Pudding.

We had an England v. South Africa off on the night of the rugby. South Africa beat England on the wine front (hard to believe) but the sticky toffee pudding we made soothed all wounds and helped remind everyone of what’s great about the proud, fat nation they belonged to.

2007-10-22T15:50:05Z

It’s not really a sport. It’s just some fat men running around and falling over a lot. Therefore utterly, utterly without consequence, merit or worth.

2007-10-22T15:52:55Z

I think you’ll find the official emblem on the England team shirt is a rose… not a bulldog ;)

2007-10-22T15:58:04Z

Dammit. Damn you South Africans…and your eyes! Damn your eyes!

I think if it was just fat men falling over a lot, it would make a cracking spectacle. After a few beers anyway.

2007-10-22T16:19:10Z

England smells very slightly less of piss.

But has more tramps. Hm.

2007-10-22T16:22:49Z

Judging by the number of Saffas in England, England obviously pisses all over South Africa…

We don’t have townships, and we generally look after poor people here. We have public transport. We have a currency that’s actually worth something in the world. We don’t speak Afrikaans. We don’t make Appletiser. Our sausages don’t look like big curly turds. We don’t have snakes. We don’t have lions either, which is a shame. We’re not unbelievably rude but passing it off as ‘bluntness’. When we say ‘now’ we mean ‘now’. Same when we say ‘now now’ and ‘just now’. We know what ‘now’ means. We don’t need visas to go absolutely anywhere outside our own country. Our head of state doesn’t refuse to treat Aids victims.

2007-10-22T16:26:35Z

More tramps??? Allegedly, London’s homeless helping infrastructure can’t find enough homeless people in the capital to help…and they’re not all living in corrugated iron lean to’s on the outer fringes of the city (although I rarely venture outside the zone 2 boundary so perhaps some have sprung up).

The City smells of piss. And shit, and gross eggy farts, and just about anything else that can waft up out of the sewers. But it didn’t smell like that on Sunday, so perhaps it’s just all the bankers and brokers that smell of piss and shit and gross eggy farts.

2007-10-22T17:02:03Z

What was the title of that Spitting Image song? It’s uncannily accurate.

I’m no racist butt.

2007-10-22T17:06:56Z

You know what… I just can’t be arsed to get involved on this one.

Oh bugger.

2007-10-22T17:12:53Z

England is better than South Africa because there are fewer South Africans here. There are many many other reasons, but that is compelling enough to mean the others are just details.

(I’m an Aussie, I’m allowed to say it…)

2007-10-22T23:15:34Z

I used to work with a bloke from South Africa. My name is Steffi, he called me ‘Stiffi’.

And for that reason, I’m out.

2007-10-23T08:04:46Z

England v South Africa is of little consequence. What’s of real consequence is this, from our previous match…

2007-10-23T09:18:58Z

is it because they is blik?

2007-10-23T09:54:51Z

What was the title of that Spitting Image song? It’s uncannily accurate.

Do you mean this one?