It's your birthday!

What do I get, my birthday is 4th April (and I’m male).

Thanks

Posted about 1 year ago by cobo04

A thousand pounds? Stone me, how much do lab technicians made of felt earn these days?!

Posted about 1 year ago by plum

It’s a special birthday. And besides, we’re an endangered species nowadays, so I get a grant from the EU.

Posted about 1 year ago by Juvey

A thousand pounds!! Blimey. Ok well you could get her a ridiculously priced designer handbag or some jimmy choos. Jewellery maybe. Personally, I’d like a fantastic holiday somewhere exotic.

Posted about 1 year ago by AssumingVakant

Just blow it on coke and hookers

Posted about 1 year ago by spaniel

Shut up spaniel girls don’t like coke and hookers (at least not as a present from our boyfriends).

Art. Buy her some art. That’s what I’d like if I were her.

Posted about 1 year ago by plum

If she suspects you have a grand to spend she’ll be dropping hints like confetti. Think, man. That innocent-sounding comment about never having visited Madrid. Lingering outside the shop that sells pianos. Expressing a desire to own the latest Mac.

[quicky runs out of what-they-like ideas]

Posted about 1 year ago by BraveNewMalden

Pony!

Posted about 1 year ago by Simone

Nothing too fancy, a Glycine Combat 4 Automatic Chronograph would be fine. PM to arrange the handover.

Posted about 1 year ago by jamespo

oh. maybe that’s what i’ve been doing wrong all these years.

Posted about 1 year ago by spaniel

Juvey – you’re not my boyfriend by any chance are you? I.e. are you Irish and mental? Cos it’s my birthday next tuesday and I am a girl and he hasn’t got any fucking idea what to get me (although I doubt he’d be spending £1000 – more like 1000 pence – so actually you’re not my boyfriend after all, are you, unless you’re trying to look flash).

However, if you’re not, and yet you’d still like to spend £1000 on me then I’d like a burmese kitten please. A brown one. They cost about a grand.

Failing that, I’d like a new head. Cos mine is full of phlegm and doesn’t work.

Or a trip to the Hotel Son Brull on Majorca. It’s bloody lovely there.

Posted about 1 year ago by freedapeople

a thousand pounds? for a cat?!

Posted about 1 year ago by spaniel

Definately something sparkly… combined with an overblown romantic gesture.

Posted about 1 year ago by Provdes

Hmmm. I’m sure the lease on our flat excludes cats. Besides which, I can’t stand the fucking things. Unless of course, they’ve been gutted and turned into slippers.

Hotel Son Brull sounds brill though. Ha ha! Bet they’ve not heard that before.

And I think I’m immune to hints, it’s the felt in my ears. Even when things are circled in red in the Sunday magazines, I’m not entirely sure what that means. Don’t buy this for me?

Can you really buy a pony for a grand? I wouldn’t mind one of those, as long as it was a really small one. I could ride it from the sofa to the fridge! And to pop down to the shops.

Posted about 1 year ago by Juvey

I’d like a really top notch camera please.

Posted about 1 year ago by LittleEmily

You can buy 40 ponies for a grand, lawdlabbaduck.

Posted about 1 year ago by Mockernee

Surely a pony only costs £25?

Posted about 1 year ago by BraveNewMalden

40×25 = 1000.

I should bill you for that statistic, but in the spirit of open government, it’s gratis this time.

Posted about 1 year ago by Mockernee

What spaniel said.

Posted about 1 year ago by eviltwin

Just think, you could get her 1000 presents in a pound shop!

Or, you could get her a holiday, a ukelele, a kitten, but I’d go for the holiday. Maybe Cyprus.

What am I thinking? Just give the holiday to me, and tell her you love her. That’s always worth more than a grand.

Posted about 1 year ago by clhw