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Can you actually swim the Thames?

olib

Posted by olib over 3 years ago
Last active 11 months ago 38 responses

Last week I ended up with a friend I’d met in the pub that night, and we were stood admiring the Thames. And then, in our drunken stupor, we pondered on whether you could actually swim across the Thames. And agreed that by our respective 40th birthdays (so a good few years yet), we should give it a try. I don’t mean a drunken attempt; I mean a serious effort. And not in Oxfordshire or somewhere where it is really thin.

So my questions are:

(a) is it physically possible to swim across the Thames in central London? And I realise it probably is; because people can swim the English Channel, so the Thames will be a doddle. But, I can do about thirty lengths in an average size pool, so whilst distance wise that would easily cover it; with all the currents and everything would I be a strong enough swimmer?

(b) is there ever a legitimate time to swim across the Thames? Like, is there a Sunday morning or something where they close the river to traffic and get some lifeboats out and organise a swim? I really don’t fancy being run over by the Tate shuttle or that hi-speed police launch which is always in a rush whenever you see it…

Cheers,

Olly

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38 responses

pottytime

I think a lot of people were trying to do it on Friday…

Posted over 3 years ago by pottytime

AppleDave

I think you’d stand your best chance at the peak of high tide, so the water isn’t flowing in either direction a great amount, that should reduce the risk of being caught in currents…

Getting to the other side without some random do-gooders pulling you out may be a greater challenge.

Posted over 3 years ago by AppleDave

Roo

I imagine there are parts of it in which you would suffocate rather than drown.

Posted over 3 years ago by Roo

jejej

Hmm talk to this guy he might have some tips…...............

Posted over 3 years ago by jejej

unsliced

It depends where you are along the Tideway – upstream nearer Kew and Richmond it might be tolerable, and safer. Downstream through town and out towards the Docks and Greenwich it becomes much wider and generally busier. Too much stream, swirls, pulls, currents – and working boats.

Up around Putney and Hammersmith you do occasionally see swimmers – although mostly drunks. There were a few people in wetsuits recently (probably newbies practicing for something like the London Tri) swimming in Putney – but you’re liking to get clonked on the head by a passing oar as a huge percentage of the nation’s rowers ply their sport between there and Kew.

In contrast to AppleDave, you’d definitely want low water, rather than high – mainly because it would be quicker to get across and back and minimise your time in the water. The real key with the Thames is the water quality. No matter what they say it is still not clean. Nearly half of all days has some proportion of sewage overflow being pumped into the river by the Water Board. You’d be lucky to get out on the other side with nothing worse than a runny nose, sore eyes and itches where you really don’t want itches.

If you really want to swim outdoors and out of a pool, there are safer ways to do it. Triathlon London have a good list – I’d recommend Heron Lake or Liquid Leisure, although the Serpentine, Highgate Ponds and Tooting Lido are more conveniently accessible.

Posted over 3 years ago by unsliced

Morals

Didn’t some MP do this a few years back? I can’t find anything on google but I’m sure it happened. If not I’m slightly scared as it would mean I dreamt about an MP swimming the thames, which is freudian nightmare by anyone’s standards.

Posted over 3 years ago by Morals

purpaboo

1. Yes. 2. No.

And thirdly, it’s a bad idea. The Thames is full of shit (a lot les than it used to be, but hey) and boats and hidden underwater obstacles. The police/coastguard will give you a very hard time if you try to swim it.

Posted over 3 years ago by purpaboo

Amerella

I saw a programme about the coast guard, apparently they pull out a lot of people who try to swim it before realising that there’s a bloody great tidal current flowing down the middle. Anedotally, my mate saw someone jump off Vauxhall Bridge, and he was told that if people go under there they’re not likely to come back up…

But sure, have a go!

Posted over 3 years ago by Amerella

Cravatekid

When we were younger and braver we used to swim out from Greenwich pier, in those days (20 years ago) there used to be a canoe club and we would clamber on top of the canoe store and dive in… much to the amusement of those on terra firma.

The River Police would often cruise by and tell us how dangerous the currents were, we ignored them obviously. One friend was adament that he’d swum over to the Isle of Dogs but was never proven. It can be done but there are bastard currents, I wouldn’t recommend it.

I definitely wouldn’t try in Greenwich….

Posted over 3 years ago by Cravatekid

olib

Cheers for all your responses. I’ve still got another 10 years to (a) get suitably fit and (b) the water quality to improve. But I won’t be trying it for a while.

Morals, I think you mean Matthew Parris, who jumped into the Thames to rescue a dog and got a reward from Thatcher: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matthew_Parris

Posted over 3 years ago by olib

MEW

Sir James Spicer, when he was MP for West Dorset, swam the Thames near Parliament on his 70th birthday in 1995 to raise money for Water Aid and Macmillan Cancer Relief. http://archive.thisisdorset.net/2004/12/1/60823.html

That’s pretty hardcore.

Posted over 3 years ago by MEW

Babb

This was quite an interesting thread.

Posted about 1 year ago by Babb

BraveNewMalden

Don’t drink beforehand.

Posted about 1 year ago by BraveNewMalden

mediummac

Is/was MEW fit? Or a tosser? Or a bit of both?

Posted about 1 year ago by mediummac

TerryB

Amerella would get it too. (Not really).

Posted about 1 year ago by TerryB

Babb

Is/was MEW fit? Or a tosser? Or a bit of both?

He has a very nice pipe.

Posted about 1 year ago by Babb

BraveNewMalden

MEW was and almost certainly still is of the virulent right-wing anti-Europe persuasion.

Posted about 1 year ago by BraveNewMalden

TerryB

Just what you need, MM. A hardcore right-wing bastard.

It’s out of MEW and Devilskitchen.

Posted about 1 year ago by TerryB

Loraine

Yes it is possible but you would obviously need to be a very strong swimmer to consider doing this. My Dad regularly swam from the north bank at North Woolwich to the south side at Woolwich when he was a boy in the 1940’s, just downstream from the Woolwich Ferry, sometimes pausing at the barges which used to be berthed in the middle of the river, or swimming to the barges to clamber on and dive off. In those days it was no big deal, kids regarded the river as one big swimming pool. But he was a very strong swimmer, and even so, he did on one occasion get into difficulty and had to be rescued by one of his mates who was, luckily, just messing around in a boat because he was always too scared to join in the swim.

Posted about 1 year ago by Loraine

showmethesquaremile

you can certainly fall in it. i have. while drunk. in a heavy coat. i am not a strong swimmer. i am, however, an idiot.

also, it doesn't smell as much as i thought it would.

Posted about 1 year ago by showmethesquaremile tipped with 1K