Bad haircut and revenge tips

Hair is brain ends and should be cut only when you’re feeling terribly bright otherwise it could make you feel stupid. What’s happened here is that you visited a hairdresser while your brain was not functioning at its best. Now you both feel stupid and look stupid.

They say time is a great healer. I prefer the economist myself, but it’s difficult to see how either can be of much help to you in your present predicament. Try a little light gardening instead.

Posted over 2 years ago by BraveNewMalden tipped with 1K

Burning hair smells horrible, Sucky. Don’t do it.

Posted over 2 years ago by Floatykatja

Did you tell her you were unhappy and that she did not follow your instructions etc? Or did you do the English thing of saying nothing, paying up and walking away to get angry elsewhere?

Posted over 2 years ago by Fi

In this weather you could try growing it inwards to keep your brain warm.

Posted over 2 years ago by iSleepDiagonal

Cut up your dog collar on live TV and promise never to wear it again until Something is Done.

Posted over 2 years ago by flippy

Please don’t take offence, but frankly if your hair was so precious to you and it had taken you so long to grow it, why the fuck did you go to a two-bit, shite little salon?

Hindsight may be a wonderful thing, but surely taking the time to look at any of the threads on the right that discuss a good hairdresser, spending a bit of time having a chat with someone and making sure that they understood exactly what you wanted, would have been a more sensible approach?

On a more helpful front, I can suggest somewhere that does good extensions if you’re interested…

well durrr I feel sorry for you but really what were you thinking

Posted over 2 years ago by SeeSee

Through bitter experience of many years of disappointing haircuts i’ve come to realise that you get what you pay for with hair, and for a good haircut you will have to pay a lot of money. Don’t go to the cheap and easy one. But do burn it – there are far too many hairdressers in the world anyway.

i love my hairdresser

Posted over 2 years ago by plum41

“Please don’t take offence, but frankly if your hair was so precious to you and it had taken you so long to grow it, why the fuck did you go to a two-bit, shite little salon?”

Several reasons. Firstly, I decided on the spur of the moment to get a haircut, and I wanted to get it done there and then, before I chickended out. The other reason is that I’ve had much, much better experience of cheaper salons than higher-end ones, where the staff seem to be with few exceptions attitude-rich twats, hell bent on either not listening to you or, quite often, cutting your hair how they want rather than how you want. Also I thought, “If I spell it out clearly, using simple, monosyllabic words that a fucking retarded toddler could comprehend, then even the most gormless hairdresser could not fail to understand”. Obviously, I couldn’t have been more wrong.

And my hair isn’t that precious to me. I mean, it’s just hair at the end of the day. But, still, I made the effort to grow it, and some stupid bitch who was more intent on jabbering away to her colleague than paying attention to what she was doing ruined it.

And, after surveying the damage in the mirror she held up, I said, as it happens: “Uh, I did tell you to cut very little off”. She responded by saying that I’d said something else. Which I hadn’t. So I thought, what’s to be gained from getting into an argument about this?

Ironically, whilst I was getting my hair cut she was moaning to her colleague that another customer had phoned up complaining about getting a shit haircut and that her colleagues all had the nerve to automatically assume it was her. When it was, in fact, another hairdresser. “How dare everyone assume it was automatically me?”

resumes filling petrol bombs and sharpening hunting knives

Posted over 2 years ago by SuckMonster

Also, SeeSee, don’t worry, I didn’t take offence.

Although if you’d like to get together for a fight/violent hate sex later, then I’d be up for that.

thered be bruising either way I hate people who prefix things with no offence no offence like

Posted over 2 years ago by SuckMonster

I’m sorry for you. Hairdressers do not listen, especially those who work for Tony & Guy.

I’d complain to the manager and get the bitch sacked, or at least get your money back.

c n u t

Posted over 2 years ago by Babb

I wasn’t suggesting you went to an expensive salon, just one that someone else had recommended.

Alongside what Babb suggested, why don’t you start your revenge by naming and shaming the salon so nobody ever goes there again?

I don’t usually preface things with ‘no offence’ as I agree that usually it’s a cliche that implies that what’s about to come is offensive, but I did in this instance as you sounded quite upset and I genuinely didn’t want to compound your misery.

As you’re clearly just ranty and angry and seemingly revelling in it, take all the offence you fucking want. But I’ll pass on the fight / violent hate sex offer – tempting though it is.

I only fight or have violent hate sex with people who have decent haircuts

Posted over 2 years ago by SeeSee tipped with 1K

So you’re saying you’re up for the hate sex once the hair has regained its wavy loveliness? Cool.

and Im not revelling in it although it is theraputic

Posted over 2 years ago by SuckMonster

Now now you two. Get a salon.

Posted over 2 years ago by BraveNewMalden

If it is that bad then you could stand outside the shop and shout “I GOT MY HAIR CUT HERE!” into the face of every person attempting to enter.

what the hell is a fuck-budgie

Posted over 2 years ago by Beagleskin

I would. But the twat getting his hair cut next to me looked like his blind, spasticated mother had cut it for him. By remote control. Using one of those little helicopter-jobbies, with some clippers sellotaped onto it. (And I reckon he was a regular at this place.)

Does fire erase finger prints?

my hair looks shit

Posted over 2 years ago by SuckMonster

Just so I’m clear then, when she said you’d said something else… you didn’t correct her? And tell her you didn’t get what you want? And you paid her? Full price?

I agree it is pointless to get into a long arguement, but it is not pointless to be calmly clear that you did not get what you asked for, and are not a happy customer. And it’s bloody stupid to pay under those circumstances.

“Here are your chairs madam.” “But I ordered large black ones and those are small white ones.” “No, I do think you ordered small white ones. And anyway they’re chairs and I delivered them so pay please.” “No, I certainly ordered large black ones and I’m not going to pay for something I didn’t ask for. Please either deliver the ones I ordered and I will pay you then, or if you cannot because it is too late (for some odd reason I can’t find a metaphorical substitute for) then leave those ones for free/a heavy discount and we’ll call it quits.”

not telling people they got it wrong does not help anyone

Posted over 2 years ago by Fi

Have to beg to differ SM – at least in my own experience at least, you gets what you pays for, and shitty little barbers places give you shitty little haircuts, and vice versa.

If you don’t care that much about your hair, why are you getting so wound up about it?

If you do care that much about your hair to get so wound up about it, why did you go to a shitty salon?

circular argument i feel dizzy

Posted over 2 years ago by SFULG

Hairdressers are notorious for not listening, but I never let them near my hair until I’m certain they understand exactly what I want. When I had my hair cut from shoulder-length to really quite short last year, my hairdresser spent 10 minutes discussing exactly what I wanted, showing me pictures in magazines until she had a really clear idea of what I wanted her to do. Then when she’d finished cutting the back, she stopped and made sure she was clear about how I wanted the fringe done and everything.

I’d still complain to the manager, because it doesn’t sound like she was particularly professional (arguing with you about whether you said something or not isn’t particularly helpful behaviour for someone who’s meant to be providing a service) but I’ve found that the only way to get a good haircut is to really make sure the stylist knows what you want before they start – even if it means repeating yourself a couple of times or bringing in a photo of how you’d like it to look.

Posted over 2 years ago by Allie

Read my previous post SFLUG, [edited to remove lots of swears/insults/references to SFULG’s mother/diminutive cock size].

Fi, chairs can be replaced. Hair can’t. Because chairs take ages to grow back and hair’s only wood . . . goes cross-eyed

And I DID explain, in great depth, using SIMPLE language, what I wanted doing. “I ONLY WANT A LITTLE OFF”. Repeat four times. But the Shrek-looking, too-busy-talking-to-her-peroxide-blond-male-colleague-about-what-cocking-club-some-bint-went-to-at-the-weekend cuntbubble didn’t understand. Jesus fucking christ, if I thought a mentally deficient troll was going to be cutting my hair then, yes, I’d have brought a fucking picture, but c’mon.

I’m this far from doing a Brittney and shaving the whole lot off.

Posted over 2 years ago by SuckMonster

Fi, chairs can be replaced. Hair can’t.

Yeah, SM, I do get that. Note the following from the previous post: ”...or if you cannot because it is too late (for some odd reason I can’t find a metaphorical substitute for) then leave those ones for free/a heavy discount and we’ll call it quits”

As in: “It is too late to change it because it is a fucking haircut not a chair, but I’m not paying for this one because it isn’t what I asked for.”

Jesus.

shave it all off

Posted over 2 years ago by Fi