All the discussion about pigeons got me thinking - where are all the cats in London?

i know why you don’t see many on brick lane…

Posted about 1 year ago by iAmJonny

I think all the London cats are in Rome. Rome regurgitates cats with almost as much frequency as it regurgitates ruins. I blame the mad old women in black who feed the feral beasties.

Posted about 1 year ago by MonkeysAhoy!

there’s on who likes to do a poo in my back garden, i’d happily donate him to central london

Posted about 1 year ago by tickledpink

Check out the pic of my cat, who is a true Londoner. I have two others as well (I do have a boyfriend and a normal functional life as well – am not some weird cat-obsessed nutjob … well I am but am also able to maintain a semblence of a normal life) and they live in London with me (Caledonian Road). Tickled pink should yet a cat of his / her own – that way it will shit in your garden and the other cat will find somewhere else to dump.

Our next door neighbours made a grave error of judgement when they decided to cover their front garden in gravel. Hey presto, a lovely al fresco litter tray for every cat in the area. You gotta love them.

Posted about 1 year ago by Knattster

cat picture? where cat picture? you lie big knattster!

Posted about 1 year ago by iAmJonny

And where the hell’s your promised pic of a space invader?

Posted about 1 year ago by Mockernee

what? hey?? me??? or knattster????

passes out with confusion

Posted about 1 year ago by iAmJonny

You. Click on Knattster’s avatar, that’s a picture of her pussy that is.

(another contractual obligation met)

Posted about 1 year ago by Mockernee

Saw a rather large moggie with no tail strolling down St Johns Street the other day, he looked very at home and was happy to be fussed by other bemused workers heading off to get their lunch. It was funny just to see how many people stopped and stared at a cat.

farringdon

Posted about 1 year ago by xforxray

No tail ‘cos it had lost it, or no tail ‘cos it was Manx? Manx cats are evil bastards, spent my first few years on the island and even the pets are seconds away from turning feral on yo’ ass.

Posted about 1 year ago by Mockernee

I dont’ think we really have feral cats in London do we? And there are no back gardens in central London, so not many domestic cats would be wandering about.

Although I should also point out that cats don’t generally wander about in full view during the day, they come out at night and when there’s a really good bit of sun they can lie in with no one disturbing them until you try to tickle their tummy and then they bite your arm literally right off. Yes.

Posted about 1 year ago by Amerella

Any pet cat can turn feral though, that’s the beauty of ‘em. Except mine, ‘cos she’s housebound by her own timidity, abandon her outside and she’d just whine in a corner ‘til Albanians barbecued her with the swans.

You’ll see them in central London though, if you look hard enough. I mean search thoroughly, not they only reveal themselves to thuggish people. Try all the little mews houses down the side alleys of Fitzrovia and Marylebone, my drunken self has wasted a few half hours sat on kerbsides stroking a stranger’s pussy. (Contractual oblig…etc)

Posted about 1 year ago by Mockernee

Hah my cat’s the same, he followed me out the front door recently and scooched round the corner into the neighbour’s doorway… then stood there miaowing till I came and got him. Moron.

Clearly I need to spend more time down dubious alleyways!

Posted about 1 year ago by Amerella

try all the little mews…

Awww mockey – you’ve gone all soft – even when you’re talking about stroking a stranger’s pussy…

Posted about 1 year ago by pottytime

I love cats, my sister has two who are ancient and have been part of the family for years. However my next door neighbour has one that’s really annoyingly shy but also very cheeky. Shits in my flowerbeds all the time but if you try to stroke her she flinches away from you like you’re going to stab her (obviously I don’t try to stroke her while she’s shitting, that would be weird).

So I got a sonic cat deterrant to stop the shitting.  And about 3 weeks after I got the sonic cat deterrant I got mice.  Now I have a sonic mouse deterrant too.  The cat still shits in the garden, just in a different place. The mice do seem to have buggered off hopefully.

Posted about 1 year ago by Flange1971

*it’s an indulgent answer i know – i wrote this years ago…but it’s on topic – sort of.

Cats Cradle

Someone is eating the cats in Media Vale. And the dogs too probably.

In all the areas I have lived in London over the past years, and there have been many, I have never seen so many posters for missing pets as I have in Media Vale. The rain splotched, heart wrenching cries for help are truly moving. Usually photocopied pictures of much loved pets reclining on cushions or staring with hideous reflecting eyes straight into the camera. Dogs smile, cats look coy and they are all obviously so adorable that someone has kidnapped them, or catnapped them or similar. Whilst shambling around the streets in my neighbourhood with my walkman (that’s ‘going for a run’, according to me), I stop and read the posters. ‘Hi my name is Miffy and I am a three and a half year old mixed breed cat. (I often wonder why the age comes into this – should I spot an animal looking like Miffy but a bit older should I ignore it?) I have been missing for four days and my owner would dearly love to have me back.’ Maybe it is the first person writing I disagree with but having taken stock of the animal and not the contact numbers I tend to shamble on. Three or four trees down there is another paper – Miffy again. It’s bit like a subconscious assault – you will remember my furry whiskered face….Turning a corner or two there is a cleverly laminated colour sheet of A4 (obviously these people have more time on their hands) Amos the dog is also missing – maybe he ran away with Miffy the poster child. At one point I managed to spot the scrawl of a child on one such poster. (No wonder the area gets dubbed ‘media vale’ when parents are savvy enough to be sure of the correct type face to maximise emotional impact.) Neither Amos nor Miffy are pure bred, expensive looking or particularly appealing looking pets, so why would someone steal them? This is what led me to believe that someone must be eating them. There again, how much meat can there be on a cat, let alone a Media Vale dog? (Most canines in this area are kept firmly tucked under a woman’s arm or small enough to sit kookily in a handbag.) But, as a connoisseur of small delicacies such as sushi and pigeon, I can see the merit in puss in jus or Amos medallions in mustard gravy. However, just when I thought I had stopped noticing the Bermuda triangle for pets aspect of my area, I passed a poster on my way around the block. “Boots is returned”. I think I may have looked twice because of the jarring grammar. However, Boots was one of the missing and it seems that he is once again safely within lap distance at home. I idly read with interest that Boots the cat was found, slightly bedraggled and hungry in someone’s shed. The owners wished to thank everyone who helped to find him. It was touching to think that maybe not all missing pets get eaten, maybe some of them take a break and run away or maybe some are slightly stupid and curious and get locked in sheds, waiting to be rescued. Turning away in the sun, I found that my cynicism had dissipated somewhat and I even sped up my pace to almost a jog

cats missing maidavale

Posted about 1 year ago by Jemimah-Knight

It seems as if about a third of all the cats in London are in our back garden. Not at any useful time (like when you feel like stroking a cat) but first thing in the morning, at weekends only, trying to start a conversation in the following way:

“Miaow. Miaow. Miaow. MIAOW. MIAOW. MIAOW. MIAOW. MIAOW! MIAOW!” etc.

miaow

Posted about 1 year ago by mydogminton

Considering the number of native wild birds the cats kill, we ought to cull cats.

Posted about 1 year ago by unknown

The cats are about at the same time I leave for work around 06.00, there when I get back , fight all night, creep up on you from under cars at 03:00, poo everywhere and get lost. Posters-a-plenty where I live. There is also a healthy population of urban foxes that tear up rubbish bags. You can tell I am not a fan. Pottytime – just like the opposite sex, if you don’t go looking they will flock to you unwantedly in droves.

Posted about 1 year ago by schmoovedarling

@Schmoove – re the opposite sex: Hasn´t worked for me. Perhaps I should take the wedding ring off…

prepares for flaming...

Posted about 1 year ago by pottytime