Advice for ill people on public transport...

Posted by whenthiswasfields over 2 years ago
Last active about 1 year ago 7 responses

As if bus/train/tube journeys aren’t already miserable enough, we all know the cold and flu season is upon us now that every carriage/bus/platform sounds like an infirmary. As I sat on the tube this morning and a man plopped down next to me and proceeded to splutter, gasp, gulp and hack non-stop throughout the journey, I wondered to myself – what is it with these people?

They seem to think that shrugging their shoulders and making a crinkly face when a big sneeze comes on is somehow acceptable because they can’t be bothered to raise one of their hands to cover their mouth and nose.

I can’t imagine that any of those disgusting and vile monsters number amongst the LbL readership. But just in case any of us is attacked by a ghastly virus, can I suggest that we prepare some ground rules? Here’s my list for starters…

a) Behave yourself. Stop pretending like you don’t remember what your mum taught you about manners when you’re ill.

b) Do not breathe on anyone else. Do not go near anyone else. Stay home. Or if you insist upon travelling by public transport when you’re so sick, take measures to ensure that your breath/snot/spit does not stray into anyone else’s personal space. Just because some other careless idiot gave you a virus doesn’t mean you should take it out on the next guy.

c) Take some cold medicine for god’s sake. That’s why it exists.

d) Carry some kleenex in your pocket. Don’t think you don’t need it. You can’t possibly believe that we don’t notice you surreptitiously wiping your wet, sneezed-in, germ-covered hand on your trousers and then on the handrail.

I thank you, and we all thank you, for your cooperation.

Sergeant Matron

ill cold flu cough sneeze tube bus train

7 responses