Unprotected Sex in the (Kudo) City!

Posted 6 months ago 12 responses

We were reading this earlier and it made us chuckle, a knowing little chuckle.

Many, many lifetimes ago the original KCL team sat around a pub table and waxed lyrical about what we wanted our website to achieve (beyond the obligatory fame and Google buyout). We set ourselves a fairly hefty goal – to make the world a more friendly and accessible place, one city at a time. A lot has changed since then – the name, the original team is no more, and the dreams of fame and instant fortune have been shelved in favour of hard work and doing things right – but that original ambition is still very much at the heart of Kudocities. We are exceptionally proud that, thanks to our own determination and the amazing individuals KCL has attracted over its incarnations, we have a fun and friendly community that works just as well offline as it does online. We do it better than any other site in London. And although we’re still very small, we might do it better than any other site in the world. We don’t toot our own horn that often so just agree and go with us here…

Over the past year and a half we’ve helped foster many friendships – the kind of friendships that will long outlive this humble site. And perhaps even more excitingly, we’ve helped foster many romances. Some lasting, some lasting jokes and some that have blossomed into real-life-proper-slobbery-vomit-inducing-cute-as-a-button TRUE LOVE. Today it is our greatest pleasure to announce the first OFFICIAL KCL baby!

They questioned, they answered, they ticked boxes, they went premium to confirm ticked boxes, they met at a get together, they got together, they got naked together, and on Christmas Day (no kidding) baby Kudo is due to arrive. Kudocities proudly presents – the radiant Plum41 and the randy iAmJonny.

Firstly – We’d like to offer our heartfelt congratulations. We can’t help but wonder though – was this little bundle of joy planned? Or was it the product of one of Jonny’s busted old jonnys?

Plum: No condoms broke! That’s just what we’ll tell the kid if it’s annoying! Actually, it was planned. But we didn’t quite realise our amazing super-fertility would make it happen IMMEDIATELY!

Jonny: I was hoping for at least a couple of months of “trying”.

Of course you were, Jonny. Still, well done on being a virile young stallion.

So when did you guys first meet, virtually or otherwise?

Jonny: For some strange, unfathomable reason (I was probably drunk) I decided to put my exact location and address on my profile page, (and my mobile number, and my pin number). It turns out Plum had been spying on me, worked out she worked over the road, and invited herself over for a cup of tea. Brazen – we like that.

Plum: Yeah, we started talking online just before the meet-up on the Queen Mary. I wasn’t sure if I was going to go. I’d decided to try new things and braved it alone. I remember him turning up on the boat and thinking to myself that he was quite drunk. He’s a total trickster and talks rubbish a lot, which I found quite endearing.

(Jonny: I insisted I was a Master Milliner and waffled crap about hats all night. I’m surprised we got this far, she’s a patient girl.)

Plum: Later on I decided to go home before I got too drunk to not get myself murdered. When I came out of the toilet he was waiting for me and he ran after me off the boat and along the embankment in order to kiss me. It was actually lovely. Readers have permission to vomit! Vomit? Awww….that sounds beautiful. What could be more romantic than a drunken pretend hat maker hanging around outside the girls toilet then hunting down a single girl trying to make her way home on a dark night?

So can we take it you both went home, signed on to Kudocities and ticked each others’ fancy boxes? Who ticked first? These things will be important when you’re driving each other crazy years down the line.

Plum: Blimey, I can’t remember. He was definitely chatting me up online though. In fact he pretty much invited himself round to stay on my sofa using some excuse about his house being haunted!

Jonny: It was definitely Plum, and I don’t blame her.

A haunted house? Smooth, Jonny. Really, very smooth.

Had either of you met previous friends or partners through a website? What would be your advice to those who think meeting people online is for losers? And can you offer any encouragement to shy users who’ve yet to brave a meet up?

Jonny: I hadn’t even used the Internet before Kudocities. It’s brilliant though. The only advice I would proffer is to give it a go. If you meet losers you can always abandon your profile and start another one. Or, simply berate them with your quick wit until they realise the error of their loser ways.

Plum: I think the only thing I would say to those who think meeting people online is for losers, is that, if it feels natural, then who cares? And yes – everyone should brave a meet-up at least once. I was really chuffed with myself for going on my own. Sometimes the site might seem a bit cliquey, but most people are really nice. And remember, most of them didn’t know each other before joining the site.

Exactly. And how long will it be before your new-born joins Kudocities?

Plum: I guess we’ll have to sign him or her up straight away! Though I’ll probably have to make sure Jonny doesn’t know the password or he’ll wreak havoc on the baby’s behalf.

Jonny: Never, it’s the work of the devil.

Says the man who brought Kudocities such gems as Eeek – shall I let him stay?, Pigeonitis, and rather aptly, The Boy’s got balls.. Will you still have time to post rubbish on here after the baby arrives?

Jonny: RUBBISH! Me? Never!

Plum: I hope so. Probably at some ungodly nightly hour whilst sitting like a sleep deprived madwoman.

You’ll have to start practising typing with one hand, so you can breast feed and post at the same time. Prior to meeting you, Jonny was something of an expert in one-handed computing, we hear.

Plum: I’m sure he still is – I work shifts and there are times he’s home and I have no idea what he is up to. I can’t type one-handed though – the baby will have to latch on like a limpet

Jonny: Shuttit.

Indeed. Well we’re patting ourselves on the back for our part in you two crazy kids finding each other. We don’t want your thanks, though. All we ask is that you call your baby, Kudo. We think it’s a strong name.

Jonny: Kudo – yes, Kudo!

Plum: Well obviously Kudocities must take a lot of the credit. And I suppose Jonny must take some it for being so persistent in the face of my playing hard to get (which I am, obviously). Kudo is a good name but I think it might be a little cruel. I would be totally up for any suggestions for boys names though, as we don’t have many we agree on so far. It worked for Spammed!

We see a user poll coming on. Thanks for sharing guys. We wish you and the sprog all the very best.

radar baby news sex in the city

12 responses